Friday, November 27

love kati.

dear black friday shoppers,
you are insane. why do you feel the need to be the earliest of the birds and form an eternal line around kohls at 3:30am? you need your sleep. what is the big advantage of a pair of boots $20 off when you have to wait in line an extra hour? I can tell you. The thrill of the hunt, the feeling of accomplishment when you get the sale before all the other lazy citizens who value their sleep. I thank you for participating in this insane tradition. It would not be the same without you.
love kati, a fellow shopper.

dear those who text me randomly,
You bring me joy. i aspire to be a person who creates a smile on someones face when they see they got a text from me. I greatly appreciate the thought that i have earned through your message.
love kati.

dear uvu boy,
Lets get to know eachother.. yeah. it would be nice if we were friends.
love kati.

dear chelsey,
I miss your presence. come back.
love kati.

dear turkey,
thank you for sacrificing your life for my pleasure. If you had a family back on the farm, I thank them too. thanks momma turkey. But knowing the world today you probably grew up on a breeding farm where you were stuffed with organic preservatives, fattened up and prepared all your life to get eaten in one day. sorry.
love kati.

dear robin,
I thought I was special and would perhaps get a sneak peak in the ending of your story. Turns out I just have to sit through the agonizing suspense. please come quickly. You know, You have taught me so much and made me want to be a better person... and marry a man who shoots bows and arrows. until tomorrow,
love kati.
p.s. it would be nice if archer turned out to be good. just a suggestion.


dear suzie at mi ranchito,
thanks for supplying our party of 18 with delicious mexican food. You handled it well. and gave me delicious strawberry lemonade.
love kati.

dear bandwagon jacob fans,
please stop saying that you want jacobs body. choose one man and stick with him. I am telling you, the entire population of twi-hards would have fought me to the grave, claiming that edward was the ideal man and jacob needed to buzz off. Until Taylor Lautner had to come fulfill the wolf of my dreams. and now guess what has happened? All of civilization decided to flip-flop. I salute all of the loyal Jacob lovers, who were the minority when the book was around. All you bandwagon fans, back off.
love kati.

dear kati,
Stop getting jealous over a fictional character. And find some friends so you don't have to sit at home on a perfectly good friday night. please.
love kati.

No comments:

Post a Comment